I uncovered a disappointing realization during a recent chat with a good friend. I haven’t invested the time or effort required to pursue “proficiency,” much less “mastery,” for a long time. As I let my realization sink in, I cycled through the usual excuses. After all, who has time for mastery in this busy world filled with endless pleas for our attention? I have two inner dialogue voices in my head. One prefers to go with the flow by taking the path of least resistance. Fear drives it to shield me from the burden or pain of doing hard things. The other voice works relentlessly to refine and improve me. It cultivates the courage to face challenges by dismantling my excuses. I intentionally gave the floor to the courageous voice on most topics, but my comfort zone was under attack, so I let the fearful voice rationalize my limitations.
Just beyond the symbolic wall of my comfort zone, I could hear the courageous voice challenging me, “But wait, there’s more on the other side of this!”
The fearful voice quickly counters, “You’re in a good place, so why should you risk losing that to try something new?”
This response ends the debate within: “Because you have more to give.” It’s not a demand to self-destructively pour from an empty glass. It’s not a magnification of misplaced inadequacies of never doing or being enough. This statement serves as a reminder that we each have a unique opportunity to make a meaningful contribution to the world. It acknowledges that we are privileged with the responsibility of sharing our gifts with others. It encourages us to grow into the limitless expanse of our potential. The call may lead us into a new chapter, but it’s rarely the beginning of our story. Here are some ideas to gracefully transition into new chapters when we hear the call.
Recenter and Reconnect
Several years ago I took a three-day retreat of solitude. I desperately needed to recenter and recover from self-induced burnout. I habitually checked so many tiny boxes for so long that I lost a sense of purpose. What was the purpose of all this optimization? Victories became far less meaningful without people to share them and far less fulfilling without a transcendent purpose. I had friends but felt isolated. It’s disconcerting to feel lonelier in a crowded room than in solitude. My extended self-focus season deteriorated the quality of my relationships. These easy surface-level interactions required no vulnerability, but they weren’t satisfying. My circle of friends used to be full of individuals who encouraged, supported, and challenged me. They asked hard questions and truly sought to understand the response.
My self-focus season was necessary to develop my gifts to share them with others, but I was now being called into a new season. Iron sharpens iron, and I had become quite dull. Recentering brought attention to my need to rebuild that connection. I wasn’t certain how to start, but I was committed to searching for opportunities.
Present day, pieces began falling into place during this discussion of mastery. My friend emboldened me to take the next step when she echoed almost exact words of my inner dialogue: “I know you have more to give. How can I help?” This challenging encouragement breathed new life into my dormant dream of being a writer. Nervousness started bubbling up as we chatted about my dream of writing, but I needed to address the source of my reservations to move forward with confidence.
Identify the Culprits
I look for three culprits when I feel friction to do what I know I want or need to do. These three culprits may disguise themselves in various ways, but if we look closely enough they are easy to identify: Design Flaws, Laziness, and Fear. Design Flaw is an external factor that sabotages our efforts. Laziness is our brain’s method of conserving energy by avoiding hard stuff. Fear is our brain’s attempt to keep us alive by avoiding painful things that are dangerous or unknown.
Design Flaws couldn’t be my issue because there was no pre-committed effort to sabotage. I had not yet committed to trying. I wasn’t dreading the work or feeling lazy either. That left fear, which is always the hardest for me to admit. Is it fear of failure? No, my future is not dependent on my becoming a successful writer. Is it fear of success? Perhaps. A stranger reading and forming opinions on my work is far more intimidating than a close friend who knows my heart. Perhaps, it was a fear of rejection that put me on high alert. It’s discouraging when someone misunderstands, misconstrues, or mislabels me or my intentions. However, even this fear lacks potency when we realize we don’t have to allow others to define or devalue what they didn’t create. This is closer, but still not the source. I traced this unwelcome fear of sharing my writing to the root. I was afraid to be a beginner.
Freedom in Truth
Recognizing the culprit helps us disarm the lies of limiting beliefs with the truth. Writing as a beginner means pouring time and energy into something new without the assurance of creating anything good. Being a clumsy, new writer is uncomfortable and intimidating. As we get older, there are fewer and fewer new things we are expected to begin. We are out of practice looking silly as a beginner. It’s almost inevitable that my first attempt at writing will fall woefully short of my hundredth piece. This truth freed me to break through the limiting beliefs that prevent progress. With this freedom, I am committing to pursue my dream of being a writer for no less than one year. I will stick with it when it’s harder than expected and when my doubts whisper that it’s not good enough. Despite all the unknowns, I hope my words will be the right message for the right person at the right time. We can confidently move forward when we permit ourselves to try something new expecting to fall short of the (nonexistent) mark of perfection!
Permission to Begin
Which brings us to the purpose of my commitment. We are meant to live in a community that cultivates faith, courage, and resolve in the pursuit of our calling. Consider these ideas as we boldly step out in faith to begin a new chapter.
Recenter and Reconnect: The balance between self-developing solitude and community-building connection should be fluid. Staying in one area too long can create stagnation in our growth.
Identify the Culprits: Practice quickly identifying design flaws, laziness, and fear when you feel resistance to do what you want or need to do.
Freedom in Truth: Disarm lies and limiting beliefs with the truth. I’ve included a few Biblically-based truths below if you would like to see examples of how I combat lies with truth.
I have more to give and I know you do too. How can I help? After all, if we’re not willing to be beginners, how will we ever reach mastery? Here’s permission to be a beginner today!
Faith Encouragement:
- Develop encouraging relationships. Iron sharpens iron. Friendships should encourage, support, and challenge you. Have a mentor and be a mentor. (Additional Resources: Proverbs 27:17, Find Your People by Jennie Allen)
- Dwell on helpful thoughts. Be selective about which thoughts you allow to reside in your mind. Keep your focus on the good stuff. (Additional Resources: Philippians 4:8, Winning the War in Your Mind by Craig Groeschel)
- Be courageous. Display sufficient courage when opportunities to pursue your calling arise. (Additional Resources: Philippians 1:20, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown)
