We have more options than ever before. Our closets are getting bigger and our technology is improving rapidly. Access to endless product and research information should help us become astute consumers, yet we still experience buyer’s regret. We are finding a tipping point of happiness with our stuff and responsibilities. The biggest, latest, and greatest labels come with a hidden cost. Unlike Monopoly, we don’t win exclusively by consuming more than others. The amount of stuff, commitments, and relationships we can responsibly steward is something we should examine regularly. We must acknowledge the point of diminishing returns and protect those boundaries to create space for what matters most.
Environment
Prioritizing a simple, tidy environment is one of my most impactful decisions. Over a decade ago, we discovered that I urgently needed a life-saving surgery. As I sat alone in my three-bedroom, three-bathroom home processing the news, I realized that my loved ones would have to process truckloads of my junk along with their grief if I didn’t make it through. I wasn’t a hoarder by any means. I just had a lot of stuff like most Americans. Most of it didn’t add value to my life but made it harder. I had kitchen gadgets I rarely used because of how complicated they were to set up and clean. I had decorations appropriately adorning every piece of furniture and wall that turned dusting into a dreaded weekly activity. A closet full of clothes and a cabinet full of beauty products reminded me of money wasted on impulse purchases and empty promises of uniqueness, belonging, or whatever they were selling that season. I donated and rehomed eighty percent of my belongings before my surgery. I experienced fresh freedom, peace, and hope in my new simple, tidy home when I needed it most. My optimized environment had ample space for thriving growth. I didn’t have a name for it then, but I was developing a minimalist mindset each time I responded to one of the following prompts:
- Does this add value to my life?
- Does this serve me in this season? Is it functional?
- Have I used this in the past 6 months? Will I use it in the next 6 months?
- Is it special to me? Is this irreplaceable or difficult to replace?
Minimalism should not feel like deprivation. It is a practice of intentionally curating what serves you well in the current season. Releasing the “just-in-cases,” “used-to-likes,” and “supposed-to-haves” allows you to create space and time to enjoy your curation with gratitude.
Commitments
The global disruption in March 2020 cleared our social and extracurricular calendars. This was an opportunity to reset our calendars and realign our time with our priorities. Many of us had allowed our schedules to become so unbalanced that they may not have reflected what we truly valued. When the world opened back up, we had an opportunity to be intentional with how we recommitted our time. Thankfully, we don’t need a global pandemic to make those decisions. With limited resources like time, every “yes” we give means a “no” to something else, so we must be wise with our investments. Just as with a physical space, it’s easier to value and organize the priorities that remain when we remove the clutter first. Here are a few questions to help you steward your time.
- Does this commitment add value to my life?
- Is this commitment the best use of my time, energy, resources, etc?
- Is this commitment right for this current season?
- Is this a life-long commitment or do I need an exit strategy?
We can optimize our calendar once the clutter is eliminated, which allows us to love and serve others well and make a meaningful contribution through our work. A four-color pen is a simple tool that creates a color-coded calendar providing insight into our time investments. For instance, personal commitments such as doctor appointments, daily exercise, and afternoon breaks are in black ink. Social connections like family dinners, book clubs, and date nights are in blue ink. Everything related to work or contribution is in green ink. Special events like birthdays, anniversaries, and vacations are in red to help me prioritize celebration. My electronic calendar follows the same color-coded format. This system makes it easy to see an imbalance. Seasons will have unique blends of time investments, but we are looking for trends with this exercise. Could a similar system help optimize your schedule?
Relationships
Many have heard the popular quote, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future,” meaning that we are the average of the people with whom we spend the most time. Building intentional friendships can be challenging because, if we are honest, most friendships are borne of situational convenience. When we commit to optimizing our lives, our friendships should follow the same trend or we’ll experience a drag effect on our progress. Be the friend that elevates the conversation. Shut down gossip and steer clear of negative, complaining conversations. Our words and actions should be encouraging, kind, and full of grace. Vulnerability is essential to deepening connections. Courageously sharing the challenges surrounding our victories can inspire others to commit to a growth mindset. Obstacles are guaranteed so it’s wonderful to have people to encourage, challenge, and support you.
You may have already discovered that some people you love may not have the same values, especially if you are just starting your optimization journey. Although there are many similarities, the stakes for deciding which relationships to prioritize are higher than in the environment and commitment categories. Around the same time I rehomed the majority of my belongings, I realized how toxic many of my relationships were. I made many lifestyle changes to support positive habits for my health and work. When my friends weren’t actively sabotaging my efforts, they were mocking them. I can look back now with a mix of humor and compassion, but it was painful in that season. My new lifestyle created desperately needed boundaries that most friends couldn’t respect. I couldn’t make them understand or drag them with me. That season was incredibly challenging, but choosing a season of loneliness was better than staying stuck in a complacent cycle. After staying committed to my growth path, lonely as it was, I found my people. Today I am blessed to be surrounded with friends who support, challenge, and encourage me. I know I would not have those people in my inner circle today without the courage to release unhealthy relationships. Relationships are rarely perfectly balanced, but they shouldn’t undermine growth efforts. We must acknowledge the limitations of how many relationships we can create quality connections within. It’s far less than social media would lead us to believe. Let’s prioritize relationships that make us a better community.
- Does this relationship add value to both of our lives?
- Does this relationship need healthier boundaries?
- Am I being actively present when I share my time?
- Are there any gaps in my circle? Mentor? Mentee? Accountability buddy? Etc.
Exceptional Stewardship
My core value of Exceptional Stewardship requires intentionality with what I allow to enter, reside, and abide in my life. An opportunity is only great if I can steward it with excellence. This applies to the belongings I own, the commitments I make, and the relationships I build. Fulfilling our greatest potential requires us to create healthy boundaries and limitations on what gets our time, energy, and focus. Unfortunately, prioritized alignment is not a one-time exercise, but a daily practice. The good news is that like any other skill, we become better with consistent practice. Assessing, prioritizing, and simplifying our current inventory helps us quickly and confidently evaluate new opportunities. We can thrive when we diligently create space for what matters most.
“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Faith Encouragement
Environment: Determine the amount of inventory we can realistically steward with excellence. Practice gratitude for things we take for granted or overlook. Develop discipline through delayed gratification when considering new purchases.
- Ecclesiastes 4:6: Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.
- Matthew 6:25: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?”
- Joshua Becker: “We don’t buy things with money. We buy them with hours from our lives.”
Commitments: Invest our time wisely. Let our calendar be a reflection of our values. Reflect on our calling and purpose often. Our brains will look for opportunities to align with our focus.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens
- Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
- Lin Yutang: “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.”
Relationships: Be a light in a dark world. Use words to build people up. Develop relationships with people that encourage, challenge, and support us.
- Ephesians 4:29: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
- 1 Corinthians 15:33: Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt: “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”
